Take care

„I’ll take care of you.“ you whisper in my ear
And I am pushing myself in the bed,
Lost in nausea, cough and fever,
Lost in dizzines and strange thoughts in my head.
And I wonder why I am addicted to the feeling
Of someone taking care of me.
Friend, lover, parent, anyone who’s willing.
It is so sweet to feel weak!
To let your weakness in someone else’s hands,
Someone else to own your wellbeing.
And do I really not understand
The real reason that had built this?
Was I even 14
When lying sick in my home
He came with the pretext he cares for me
And waited for the others to be gone?
And when I couldn’t throwback a fight
He let his hands explore those hidden parts
That no longer felt like mine
Since he started invading them in some nights.
And there was the first hour
When helpless, in the hands of the disease,
I allowed myself to gave up the power,
I allowed him to take care of me.

20.02.2022